Someone pissed me off today. If you are a CancunCare message board regular then you know what’s coming. I posted some criticism of Mexico’s restrictive immigration policies, and another poster basically said “if you don’t like Mexico then you are free to leave”.

My retort was that if Mexico is so great (and I think it IS great) then it’s worth fixing. And it’s worth having an open debate about how to fix it. I believe that this guy was just taking the easy way out, instead of getting into a debate about what might need to change in Mexico he just tells critics to get lost.

My father was paid to be critical. He made his career kvetching and bitching and deconstructing. He was a widely published critic of music (and of everything else). Can I help it if the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? I’m going to cop out myself and tell you that it’s in my genes and I can’t help it.

Mexico is a beautiful country with enormous natural beauty, deep cultural roots, huge diversity and a strong sense of identity. It’s also a place where government officials rob the public coffers to the point where they can’t even keep the roads free of potholes. And every time someone tries to protect a place of natural beauty it seems to be sold off to the developer with the deepest pockets. Mexico is a place where people expect little from their public officials and are rewarded with less than they expect. It’s a corrupt country where I’ve learned more than I ever wished to know about organized crime. And where I’ve learned to ignore executions because they are so common! Now that’s a sickening thing to say.

But Mexico is also a place with tremendous potential. And it won’t meet that potential if there is not discussion and debate, if there is not argument and insightful, creative thought about it’s future path.

When I came to Cancun I couldn’t believe how little there was to do here. There’s partying. But I was a wild teenager and once tried to live on LSD for a whole month. I have lots of great stories from those days (though I can’t remember any of them). I don’t need to party anymore. Well, not too often.

And there are boating and water sports here. But I don’t swim well, I don’t want skin cancer, I don’t own a boat and so that’s that. As far as I’m concerned the beach is for when guests are in town.

Then we’ve got Maya ruins, but I’ve been to Chichen Itza 6 times, Coba 3 times, Ek Balam 3 times and Tulum 5 times. And besides none of those ruins is IN Cancun, all require travel.

Cancun is really boring. So I work, and I meet friends at Starbucks, and I see the crappy movies that they show in the theaters here (the best ones never seem to come here). And sometimes we go out to eat and then complain about how bad most of the restaurants are here.

Two years ago, to stave off total boredom and to bring a bit of culture to our lives, a friend and I started an English book club here. In our first month we were forced to read a truly abominable book just because it was the only one we could get multiple copies of here at the time. It was a book that had been an Oprah’s Book Club pick, but not even Oprah could save it, it was terrible and everyone hated it.

Since then we’ve progressed. We’ve developed a system so that we choose books far enough in advance that we can find someone to bring them from the U.S. for us. And we’ve learned a little about picking books. Sometimes we blow it and end up reading something mediocre, but usually we pick a book that has real merit. The group seems to unconsciously gravitate towards historical fiction, and we don’t read too many classics or too many non-fiction books.

We hold meetings once a month. And the meetings usually involve too many bottles of red wine and lovely hors d’oeuvre. But we always enjoy our book discussions, they lift us out of our own lives an into the world the author created. For a little while the group transcends Cancun and it’s lack of culture. And we are reminded that we have brains.

Of course I would have more brains if I hadn’t tried to cook them when I was a teenager.

I think it’s a bad thing that I finally learned to touch type. I’m so much more likely than I used to be to pick on people on message boards or to write long email tirades to people who give me the impression that they are idiots. I may well be an idiot myself. But if you give me the impression that you are an idiot, well, I may just let my fingers tell you what I really think of you.

I wish that drivers in Cancun were forced to post valid email addresses on the back of their cars. You know, like those “How’s My Driving” bumper-stickers with phone numbers on them? How’s My Driving – Bitch me out at imacrappydriver@idiocy.com.

People here can’t park, nor can they get out of a parking spot once they’ve gotten into it. I especially hate those ninnies who timidly back their monstrous SUVs out of a spot but have not a clue how long their car is. So they back up until there’s only 8 feet between their car and the one behind them, and then pull forward, and then repeat until I’m completely falling asleep waiting for them to get out of the damn spot. If you are going to drive something that big you’ve gotta learn how long it is. Christ.

Actually it’s good that those morons don’t provide me with their email addresses, if they did I would spend hours each evening typing furious emails informing them that no matter how big a moron I am they are certainly more worthy of the title.

It’s been a very social week for me, and there’s no sign of it slowing. I’ve had the good fortune to see or talk on the phone with nearly all of my favorite people this week. So I’m happy. And I have an impending in-law invasion, so there will be more socializing coming up. I just hope someone else feels like doing the cooking.

I’ve also gotten a lot of work done this week, for once. I’m almost done with the new version of the Henry Steele Commager web site. He was a famous historian and the husband of one of those favorite people I spent time with this week. I will be very proud when that site is released.

My super secret project is going well. I’m getting interest from the right kind of people. So something may come of that eventually.

Oh and my husband and I had the honor of being label/bottle judges for a tequila competition this week. The judges had to choose Best Bottle, Best Label, Most Artistic, etc. If you’ve ever bothered to look for tequila in a liquor store you know that there are many interesting labels and bottles out there.

It was fascinating for me because, as a trained graphic designer, I actually studied packaging design at one point in my education. So I took my role as judge very seriously. My husband, on the other hand, decided he needed to try the tequilas first, before judging the labels, I think he had an easier time making his decisions than I did.

I’ve got a U.S. phone line that rings here in Cancun. It’s very cool and helps me appear like I’m in the states when I’m not. Heehee. Well, anyway I basically never get any random sales-like calls on that number. But in the last 2 weeks I’ve gotten 3 phone calls from people in the Barack Obama camp who are just calling registered Democrats to make sure we aren’t going to support that grumpy goat who should have divorced Mr. Bill ages ago. I didn’t say that. No.

So the two candidates that I actually agreed on the most issues with are both out of the race now. One of them was even MORE QUALIFIED to run the country than any of these other people (AND he had a better web site too). But he’s gone. And so every time one of these members of the Obama fan club calls I tell him (all have been hims) “yes, yes, yes, of course O-ba-ma!”.

I even registered with Democrats Abroad so I can vote online for O-ba-ma in the primary and everything.

Here in Cancun we are about to have local elections. In my hood it looks like the PRI party is going to win. More than half my neighbors have PRI stickers on their cars and PRI flags flying from the door-cracks of their cars.

The recent uproar among tourists here stems from worry over the fact that Cancun will have an almost 36 hour dry law in effect for the election. And that dry spell will cover the SuperBowl. Horrors. Can’t watch the SuperBowl without booze. Christ. I don’t even know who’s playing and I don’t care. Quarterbacks sometimes have cute butts but that is ALL I know about football. So the tourists can run to WalMart and buy booze for the SuperBowl. And I’ll sit home and watch the pirate copy of the DaVinci Code that my husband borrowed from someone at work.

Like I said before “I am not a junkie”, so I can NOT watch the SuperBowl with no booze! Whoohoo!

I’ve been interviewed by the fine folks at Expat Interviews. You can read the full interview here: A gringa cat-lover lives in Cancun, Mexico.

I’ve been getting emails from people who wonder where I’ve gone off to. Well, don’t get your typing fingers all twisted up…I’m still alive and bitching.

I’ve been lately in a netherland between a state of whiny immobilized self pity and driven motivated work frenzy. The frenzied work part is good, an improvement over not doing crap for 3 WHOLE WEEKS (oh the guilt of actually taking time off). The whiny self pity part is well, pathetic, but oh woe is me…as the song says: nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen…

Being apart from my kid is hard. In moments it’s fine, in moments when I can hear the ease of her smile through the phone and can tell things are better for her there. But other times I just feel like someone is endlessly hacking off a part of my body and they never finish. It’s just shit. And so I’m actively looking at the practical junk involved in moving back to be near her, of which there is a lot.

And somehow now that I’m not forcing myself to see Cancun as my future home sweet home I’m becoming more annoyed each moment with the crap I have to deal with here. Just today my list of annoyances involved the following:

– I had to run in the pot-holed street with my dog because there aren’t any large parks or open space areas where I can take him and get a long enough workout.

– During said run with the dog I picked up his poop and disposed of it in a proper garbage receptacle. This makes me weird. NO ONE ELSE DOES THIS. The streets are covered in dog poop and garbage.

– I went out for lunch to yet another mediocre restaurant. Why is it so hard to find a decent meal here?

– I had to deal with stupid idiotic Mexican bureaucracy today when I went to renew my immigration papers. First they tell me to pay a bunch of money, then after I pay it they tell me I didn’t need to pay it yet; I rushed around like a nut-job all morning and now I have to wait a week…meanwhile I can’t travel and all I want to do is catch the next plane out of here.

– It’s been raining a lot lately, and so the roads are falling to ruins again. Coming home tonight I realized that there are now car-sized potholes which have opened up just in the last 24 hours. And my husband wonders why the suspension on my car is in bad shape…

– I went to a friend’s house this evening, to do some work together, and where I parked it was evident that a recently-parked car had had it’s windows smashed. So I didn’t feel safe parking the car there. And she lives in a “nice” neighborhood…better than where I live, supposedly. And not only that when I got out of the car the sidewalk was so broken as to be hazardous and there was garbage everywhere.

– Oh and I almost got killed crossing the street today because in Mexico the idea that cars might stop for pedestrians is unheard of. And there’s basically no such thing as a pedestrian crossing signal. Pedestrians here are on their own, at the mercy of the cars bearing down on them, saved only by their ability to run…which brings me back to the fact that there’s no where good to run here.

I was reading one of the Cancun message boards the other day. And someone who used to be a friend, but who is now a sad memory, mentioned that she is trying to be more positive about Cancun. So why do all of us want to live somewhere where we have to TRY to be positive? It shouldn’t be work to like where you live. You shouldn’t have to pretend that a place is good or nice or decent to live in.

Of course tomorrow I’ll probably blog about how much I love the tropical light here, or the birds that sing outside my house every minute of every day, or about how great it is to not have a mortgage. But for now this sucks, Cancun sucks, and I’m a bitch.

When I lived in the U.S. I didn’t lock my house. In fact my UPS and FedEx drivers both used to leave packages inside my house. And they would let my dog in or out depending on what she wanted.

But here in Cancun I hear stories all the time of break-ins. I have friends who tell me that being broken into is a regular event in their neighborhoods. I know several people whose homes have been robbed while they were home asleep. And I have one friend who was threatened with kidnapping by armed men when she came home and was opening her gate to bring her car inside (she got away safely and called the cops).

So I live in a house with a big iron gate in front of it and a high wall all around it. I always lock my house. I always check for lingering strangers before I open my gate. And my neighbors and I pay to have a big guard with a big billy-club walk our street night and day.

One of the reasons we bought our house was because, even though we live on a regular public street, the neighbors are united and all care about keeping the street safe.

But lately our main guard is flaking out. He’s been getting less and less reliable in recent months, he’s been working less ( I think his health is poor). And he’s been failing to make sure that the other guard, his relief, is being paid. And so the neighbors are up in arms now. They have had two meetings already. And they are now taking back the street.

There are all kinds of plans afoot to re-secure the street. But the best news is that mis vecinos (my neighbors) have agreed to pay the guards more money. For a long time I’ve thought we were underpaying, so I’m glad my neighbors have come around on this issue. Of course now we’ve got the problem of hiring new people to protect us. And we all know that committees, no matter how well-meaning, are not good bosses.

But I am glad to have it reaffirmed that the people on this street are united in their desire to keep our street safe. Now if I could just convince them to help pay to repave it…

One of my myriad brothers-in-law is visiting. So we HAD to get off our butts and celebrate the New Year, at least a little bit.

So we made Mojitos. For anyone who doesn’t know a Mojito is a Cuban drink that has in it equal parts rum, lime juice and club soda, it also takes a little sugar and some crushed fresh spearmint. Very refreshing.

My brother-in-law is a Cuba buff and so he made the first round of drinks. But the first thing he did when he opened the bottle of rum was to spill a little on the floor. For “los Santos”, the Saints. Apparently this is a tradition in Cuba. You open a bottle of booze and you have to pour some on the floor to feed the thirsty alcoholic Saints. Of course my housekeeper had just washed that floor yesterday. And of course the dog came and licked the booze up (poor thing). But what I want to know is why would Saints want to drink booze off someone’s floor? Even if it is clean… What if we just pour them a shot? Or at least pour it in the sink so I don’t screw up my floor…

The other thing we did to celebrate was to make curry! I love curry! I think I finally perfected my Thai Panang Curry recipe. Most recipes don’t call for the addition of veggies, but I added carrots, zucchini, red bell pepper and onion. But the secret (if you don’t have Kaffir Lime leaves) is to add a lot of lime zest. The lime makes the whole thing imho. I made a vegan batch that has tofu, and another batch with chicken in it. Yum.

Today we are pondering which beach to go to. Husband wants to go somewhere that the dog can run on the beach, so we may go up to Isla Blanca. But first I need a cappuccino.

On about my 3rd day in Cancun (more than 4 years ago) I found myself talking to the U.S. Consular agent here. She told me that one of the best things about living in Cancun was that you could have a housekeeper full time for about $60 USD per week (prices have gone up since then).

I was completely repulsed by that. The idea that one of the best things about living somewhere is that labor is cheap and so you can have someone else clean your shit while you sit around on your lazy ass did not sit well with me. Tell me that the best thing about living in a place is the pristine nature or the rich culture or the great infrastructure or the great employment opportunities. But don’t tell me that I should be happy because I get to order someone around and pay them so little that their quality of life will be significantly lower than mine.

When I lived in the U.S. the various house cleaners who helped me over the years were all paid well, and from what I could see each had a very similar level of life to mine. They traveled. One of them was a member of the same gym I went to. Two of them drove nicer cars than I did. And all of them spoke at least two languages fluently.

But here in Mexico housekeepers get paid crap and both their standard of living and their educational levels are dramatically lower than mine. And it makes me sick.

I feel blessed and taken care of by the woman who cleans my house for me. She keeps this chaotic house full of pets and knick-knacks and messy people in order. I’m immensely grateful to her, without her the house is a pig sty and I always feel I’m behind. But with her cleaning the house just once a week I feel like I can catch up with myself. And so I pay her very well at $250 mxp per day; the woman across the street pays her housekeeper just $150 mxp per day (and her house is bigger). I gave my housekeeper a Christmas bonus, and two Christmas presents. And when her kids have their birthdays I will give her another bonus, so she can spend a little extra on them then.

Recently my housekeeper came to me and asked me to help her find more cleaning jobs. She had a couple of days a week to fill in her schedule. So I sent around an email to my rich ex-pat women acquaintances and I recommended her. One of these women called immediately and wanted to hear all about my housekeeper. But when I told her how much I was paying she actually got upset with me. She told me that I couldn’t pay my housekeeper that much because I “will spoil her” and then she would think she was worth too much! I actually got yelled at because I was at risk of raising someone’s self esteem and sense of self worth. Yuck.

I would pay my housekeeper 4 times as much if I could. She’s cleaning my toilets for God’s sake. And with 11 animals and 2 messy people here she works plenty hard for us. Unfortunately I have to live in this strangled economy also, and so $250 mxp is all I can afford. But I’m happy to be able to give her as much as I can afford, she deserves it and she earns every cent.