Don’t Bury Me
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008As I sit here listening to the NPR story titled Inventor’s Ashes Buried in His Creation: Pringles Can I feel compelled to make a public statement.
I do not want to be buried in the ground when I die. I can think of no greater torture than to be stuck underground for all of eternity. I am claustrophobic and I don’t much like the dark. I have no desired to be consumed by worms, or worse, to be embalmed and then not consumed at all.
I do not believe there is an after-life and I don’t believe in ghosts (much). But it is my solemn promise to those I leave behind when I depart this world that I will HAUNT YOU if you inter me! I swear it!
My wish is to be cremated and scattered in the good places! If my people need a spot on this earth to call mine then they have my permission to take not more than a thimble-full of my ashes and place them just underneath the sod so that I can still see light and so that my matter will quickly become part of the grass above me. Anything more than this and I will haunt, make no mistake!
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