Comments on: On Friends and “Friends” http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/ A Gringa Writes About Life In Cancun, Mexico Fri, 21 Nov 2008 05:19:27 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: RiverGirl http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1011 RiverGirl Fri, 21 Mar 2008 22:36:26 +0000 http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1011 Canuck, I appreciate your diplomacy and tact. I have many good friends and many good "amigos light" here. In fact I have more than I can keep up with. It's sad to lose what I thought was a real friendship, but if it wasn't real then I'm better off now. Canuck, I appreciate your diplomacy and tact. I have many good friends and many good “amigos light” here. In fact I have more than I can keep up with. It’s sad to lose what I thought was a real friendship, but if it wasn’t real then I’m better off now.

]]> By: cancuncanuck http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1010 cancuncanuck Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:36:42 +0000 http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1010 I've been contemplating how to respond to this, knowing a lot of the details of the problems you wrote about. It's tough, I am friends with all of you and try not to get caught up in all that is going on between you! I think you do need to embrace the good in your life, there is lots of it and lots of good people too. I am the eternal optimist though, so perhaps you would like to tell me to shove my sunshine where the sun don't shine, lol. Seriously, if you believe things are beyond repair, just let it go and don't let it fester, it will be much healthier for you. If you think things can be fixed, go for it. I might even pull out a striped shirt and referee if you like. You know I am Miss Neutrality. I’ve been contemplating how to respond to this, knowing a lot of the details of the problems you wrote about. It’s tough, I am friends with all of you and try not to get caught up in all that is going on between you!

I think you do need to embrace the good in your life, there is lots of it and lots of good people too. I am the eternal optimist though, so perhaps you would like to tell me to shove my sunshine where the sun don’t shine, lol. Seriously, if you believe things are beyond repair, just let it go and don’t let it fester, it will be much healthier for you. If you think things can be fixed, go for it. I might even pull out a striped shirt and referee if you like. You know I am Miss Neutrality.

]]> By: RiverGirl http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1009 RiverGirl Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:10:22 +0000 http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1009 Oh thanks all of you for the comments. I was worried this post would be too pointed and personal and would bother my friends and readers. "Amigos light" is a perfect way to look at those people who aren't real friends. And I must learn to protect myself better. And I also need to work more actively on the friendships that really mean something to me. Oh thanks all of you for the comments. I was worried this post would be too pointed and personal and would bother my friends and readers.

“Amigos light” is a perfect way to look at those people who aren’t real friends. And I must learn to protect myself better. And I also need to work more actively on the friendships that really mean something to me.

]]> By: Cdn Cat http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1007 Cdn Cat Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:41:53 +0000 http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1007 One of my best friendships began in Mexico 16 years ago. A girl I worked wih in a dive shop for a few months. We kept in touch where ever we were in the world and with the Internet it just got easier with time. We still plan some of our vacations together and meet up whenever we can. I feel we both contribute equally in our relationship and she says I'm like the sister she never had. On the other hand my friendship with one of my dear friends I have been close to since early childhood is very different. We can get all wrapped up in our busy lives and not talk for ages. Then one day one of us will call the other and it's as if yesterday was the last time we spoke. It doesn't matter what time of day it is or what we are doing, we know the other person is always there in a moments notice. My personal experiences have shown me that when it comes to friends it takes two people to make it work. A big factor is trust... like a marriage, without trust and loyalty you have a fragile shell...ready to crack at the slightest bump. I just realised that 3 of my closest friends have all given me tiny books over the years on frienship. Here is a quote from one of them. "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." ELBERT HUBBARD One of my best friendships began in Mexico 16 years ago. A girl I worked wih in a dive shop for a few months. We kept in touch where ever we were in the world and with the Internet it just got easier with time. We still plan some of our vacations together and meet up whenever we can. I feel we both contribute equally in our relationship and she says I’m like the sister she never had.
On the other hand my friendship with one of my dear friends I have been close to since early childhood is very different. We can get all wrapped up in our busy lives and not talk for ages. Then one day one of us will call the other and it’s as if yesterday was the last time we spoke. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is or what we are doing, we know the other person is always there in a moments notice.
My personal experiences have shown me that when it comes to friends it takes two people to make it work. A big factor is trust…
like a marriage, without trust and loyalty you have a fragile shell…ready to crack at the slightest bump.
I just realised that 3 of my closest friends have all given me tiny books over the years on frienship.
Here is a quote from one of them.

“Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.”
ELBERT HUBBARD

]]> By: JoyceJ http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1006 JoyceJ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:08:36 +0000 http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1006 I have felt your pain a lot myself over the years, and the only thing I can add is that it's hard to change who you are. As much as you try to steel yourself against certain people that you know are not true friends, your true nature of wanting to help and contribute keeps peeking out of the hard shell you are trying to build. It can be done, though. Just remember that people who don't know how to be a good friend don't know what they are losing when you become unavailable to them. And you can feel sorry for them because they will never know the real friendships that you know. I have felt your pain a lot myself over the years, and the only thing I can add is that it’s hard to change who you are. As much as you try to steel yourself against certain people that you know are not true friends, your true nature of wanting to help and contribute keeps peeking out of the hard shell you are trying to build. It can be done, though. Just remember that people who don’t know how to be a good friend don’t know what they are losing when you become unavailable to them. And you can feel sorry for them because they will never know the real friendships that you know.

]]> By: Fned http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1005 Fned Fri, 21 Mar 2008 06:12:55 +0000 http://www.hiddencancun.com/rivergirl/2008/03/20/on-friends-and-friends/#comment-1005 haha.... as a compliment to your previous post (and my previous comment) I too came to that conclusion when I was living in Mexico. I used to know tons of people in college. Friends of friends of friends turned automatically into my friends. I'd never go somewhere witout bumping into someone I knew. I thought it was a good thing. That being friendly and available for your "friends" was part of being a good person. Over the years I learned who my real friends where. I've had "best" friends stab me in the back and over the years I've lost touch with most of what at one time I considered "my closest friends"... today it is safe to say I have exactly TWO good friends (both living in Mexico). People I can trust and would do anything for and I know them for me. My dad summed it up well when he once told me I had to figure out who were my real friends and who were simply "amigos light".... I know it's hard to say no to an "amiga(o)" when she or he asks or needs something but somewhere along the way I dared to say no and after the initial guilt I realized things for what they are: people trying to use me. Fned. haha…. as a compliment to your previous post (and my previous comment) I too came to that conclusion when I was living in Mexico.

I used to know tons of people in college. Friends of friends of friends turned automatically into my friends. I’d never go somewhere witout bumping into someone I knew. I thought it was a good thing. That being friendly and available for your “friends” was part of being a good person.

Over the years I learned who my real friends where. I’ve had “best” friends stab me in the back and over the years I’ve lost touch with most of what at one time I considered “my closest friends”… today it is safe to say I have exactly TWO good friends (both living in Mexico). People I can trust and would do anything for and I know them for me.

My dad summed it up well when he once told me I had to figure out who were my real friends and who were simply “amigos light”….

I know it’s hard to say no to an “amiga(o)” when she or he asks or needs something but somewhere along the way I dared to say no and after the initial guilt I realized things for what they are: people trying to use me.

Fned.

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