A Letter To My Dog
Dear Sam, My Lovely Dog –
Thank you for coming into my life and teaching me that:
– Dogs don’t need to actually eat dog food, in fact dogs can subsist on nothing for days, or on cat food, or on Cheerios, or raisin bran, or chick peas, or tamales with hot chiles in them, or on licking the front (outside) door of the oven (the clean part), but truly, there’s no need for me to buy dog food because it won’t get touched. Ever.
– And that the cats need to be taunted until they scratch your nose, every time. There’s no actual need to leave them alone when they hiss at you just once. It’s better if you bark at them and lunge at them for 15 whole minutes in a row, while they are hissing at you, that way they get plenty of time to aim right at your nose so they don’t miss when they finally do scratch it. And just because there are 9 of them and just one of you, and just because they ALWAYS win, that’s still no reason to back down. None at all.
– And that dogs don’t need to be walked because why on earth would you want to pee anywhere but INSIDE your own yard? Even though the grass is getting all yellow where you always pee on it, and even though we would love it very much if you would just pee on the nasty neighbor’s car tires, you insist on peeing in your own grass, in your own spot, because that’s the way it’s done. I mean really.
– And that cars were made for dog naps, that every time I open my car door to get out you HAVE to get inside the car and lie down. I now know that if someone leaves their car window open you are likely to jump inside and stay there until they drive off with you in the car. At least then you might pee somewhere besides your one yellowed-grass spot, right?
– And Sam, thanks for teaching me that it’s possible to want to please someone so much that it hurts. You are often so deliriously happy to see us, when we return from our journeys, that you crash and trip and step on us and run into things and even almost knock us over, all because you love us. You must be full of bruises from all that love, you poor guy.
– And thanks for teaching me, and anyone in earshot, what a great toy a plastic bottle is. I never knew one could occupy your time for that many hours, and I never knew that a plastic bottle, when chased and chewed on and batted about could be THAT LOUD! I mean really. Really.
– And thanks for teaching us your best trick ever, that trick you use when you need to go outside (you KNOW you need to, your spot is calling) but instead you LIE down and show us your belly. This forces one of us to either pick you up, 34 pounds of dead weight, OR we have to try to scoot, roll or drag you out the door in your lying down position. Why can’t you just WANT to go outside, like a normal dog?
– And mostly, thanks for teaching me that there’s so much LOVE in the universe. I truly had no idea that it was just packed this full of love; just like that raisin bran you love to eat is packed full of added vitamins and minerals, right?
Love, Mom
June 25th, 2007 18:30
Hi! I love the way you express about your dog. I do the same with mine. Her name is Sissi, she´s a Springer Spaniel. She´s 13 years old. Imagine how grumpy she can be sometimes. 🙂